Sandpaper
by Salazarfalcon
Summary: Rita's not a gentle person, not by nature and certainly not by nurture either. It's not a big deal, she supposes. Lots of people in the world aren't nice or friendly or sweet; not like Estelle who can light up a room with her smile or Karol who, now that he has some confidence to him can make nice and make friends with the best of them. Not like Judith either.


Sandpaper

* * *

><p>Disclaimer: Nope.<p>

* * *

><p>Summary: Rita's not a gentle person, not by nature and certainly not by nurture either. It's not a big deal, she supposes. Lots of people in the world aren't nice or friendly or sweet; not like Estelle who can light up a room with her smile or Karol who, now that he has some confidence to him can make nice and make friends with the best of them. Not like Judith either.<p>

* * *

><p>Rita's not a gentle person, not by nature and certainly not by nurture either. It's not a big deal, she supposes. Lots of people in the world aren't nice or friendly or sweet; not like Estelle who can light up a room with her smile or Karol who, now that he has some confidence to him can make nice and make friends with the best of them. Not like Judith either.<p>

Especially not like Judith.

Judith's a liar and Rita hates it, because Judith is _so _good at pretending and Rita isn't, and sometimes Rita can't tell what's the truth and what's another of Judith's lies to cover up the same broken pieces that match hers almost perfectly. Judith lies and Rita can't and there's no small amount of envy in that but no resentment at all.

There's something refreshing in not feeling like she has to give a shit.

Broken people attract broken people, Rita thinks, and she doesn't know whether that's going to caulk them together or blow them apart.

It's hard to care though when the presence of a warm body and serene words are enough to drown out the storm in her head, even though it's so much more satisfying to force Judy out of her head and make her feel, break her down and put her back together into someone new and not. Judy with Rita is different from Judy with others, and Rita likes the harsh heaving gasps and a sheen of sweat on porcelain skin better than the serenity she coughs up for everyone else. Judith is a wildfire and a liar and Rita knows it for a fact and loves her more for it.

Rita doesn't really know what love is but she's pretty sure she loves Judith, if she takes what she feels for Yuri and Estelle and Karol and Raven and even the dog and multiplies it by a thousand, runs it through the algorithms in her head, squares it to come up with something strange and hungry and very, very warm. Rita would walk to the ends of the world for Judith.

That's not something she's entirely comfortable with, truth be told.

Rita would like to say that's it a one-sided relationship, that she sees all the things that Judy hides from others and gives up none of herself, but that would be a lie too.

Judith's her port and her anchor and all those steady things that Rita doesn't need but gets anyway, and it turns out that she does need them. She needs them very, very badly.

You can't do what they've done and come out in one piece, even people who were broken to start out with. Even Estelle has her edges now and Rita sees the way she and Yuri watch each other, knows that even gentle Estelle would rip out someone's throat to keep him safe. It's gratifying and a little scary, because Judy lies but Estelle lies in the truths she tells, keeps it hidden behind the sweetness and sunshine that comes first and foremost.

It's a relief because if it wasn't Judy, Rita probably would have loved Estelle like that and she knows that it wouldn't go well. They might try for a bit if Yuri hadn't been so worth it but Rita thinks that they might have ruined each other and she can't stomach the idea of breaking Estelle.

So it's Judith and it has to be Judith and maybe it's always going to have to be Judith, and Rita's found someone in whom her grit matches a similar roughness. Maybe, like sandpaper, the more they rub the smoother they'll get until they reach something like normal...

Or maybe not.

Rita thought she was happy with her research and the thought of losing blastia would have at one point ripped her apart-but once it came around to happening it didn't hurt quite so much. It's not like there's not a whole damn world to study even without blastia, and Rita's never been so very interested in anatomy as she is when she's with Judy.

"What are you thinking about?"

Rita looks down and Judith's eyes are open, scrutinizing her even with her head in Rita's lap for a catnap.

Rita shrugs.

"Nothing," she says, and leans down to kiss her.

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you for reading!<p> 


End file.
